Bidets and Airplanes make a good mix?

I have restrained myself from writing this entry for over 6 months since I first heard that Boeing had put Bidet's on the options list for the 787. Originally I understood it was just for the BBJ version of the aircraft. But no lesser authority than the WSJ: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118411594813562792-search.html?KEYWORDS=bidet&COLLECTION=wsjie/6month
has confirmed that yes this has in fact been ADOPTED by the two Japanese airlines ANA (launch customer) and JAL. It only remains for Virgin (pardon the pun) to adopt this for it to become a standard accoutrement of all operators.

So all manner of concepts spring to mind. So here are just a few potential PA announcements for you to consider:

1. Use in Turbulence - "Please return to your seat and refrain from using the Bidet while the Seatbelt sign is illuminated"
2. Prior to Landing - "Please return your Tray Tables and Seatbacks to their full and upright positions and refrain from leaving the Bidet on during landing
3. After Boarding before take off - " This aircraft is equipped with escape path Bidets please read the pamphlet in your seat back and familiarize your self with this feature.
4. The return of the gender specific announcement - "Male passengers are requested to kindly remove their shoes before using the Bidet and your accurate aim is highly appreciated

we have a series of illustrations to go with this but as this may be viewed by sensitive folks we will refrain from publishing them

Cheers

Timothy