31 January 2011

ANZ's 5000 Quid Boat Anchors aka Skycouches


Air New Zealand has been pretty aggressive in the Social Media space. They have also been a very innovative airline. Their Skycouch idea (or should it be Sky Chaise?) product has been much promoted.

But the Professor was less than enthused when I first saw some pictures of it. And nothing that has been written has made me any more enthusiastic about the concept. Exactly one year ago today (Jan 31st 2010) I wrote a less than complimentary review of the product.

Now the pricing for the product has been revealed. There are some gasps and shock on the pricing. None other than Business Traveller (yes 2 Ls) the UK magazine and advocate for the premium frequent flyer has just written a review of the price.

Ooops.

It seems that the pricing is rather more than even the most optimistic player was expecting. Remember that in 2009 NZ was offering a RTW fare for less than 500 pounds.

As one comment opined - they are going to be lightly used and then gone the way of Airline Ash Trays.

I have a sneaking suspicion that this person may just be right. What is somewhat sad is that the other innovation the Premium Economy product is pretty good and better than many a business class product.

As this picture shows - the real problem. Here is an attractive person trying out the new seat with her feet dangling in the aisle. Well those of us who regularly fly know that is a huge No No. The seat is just not going to be that comfy.

But now let's think. Will NZ start offering premium service to those who buy these seats?

I can just hear the boarding announcements.

"Ladies and Gentlemen (with a slight Kiwi Twang) Welcome to NZ1 we will be boarding the flight today by priority.

We would like to invite our passengers seated in the Business Premier Cabin first,

We would like to invite our Koru club members next.

Our Star Alliance partners - sorry but all the variations are so many that just look at your card and as long as its any type other than silver or does not have a colour in it then you can board next. Please go to the door marked 'Special'

Next if you are on United's Code Share flight and you thought you were getting that extra 5 inches of leg room - you can now board. WAIT FOR IT.... WHERE ARE YOU GOING SIR - I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU WHICH DOOR YET....Anyone who has a Star Alliance card of any type including those of you who bought Premier Status on United for more than $1300 - you can join the door marked "Bovine Use Only".

I would now like to invite those travelling with certified children under the age of 5 to now board.

Any of you over 65 or just need a little extra time waddling down the jetway - your turn.

Now those of you who paid WAY too much for the Poofy seats aka the Sky Counches. You may board while I try to keep a straight face. And don't expect any metal on your meal tray. And yes you too can join through the door marked Bovine. Right about now it should be a bit tight and smelling nicely ripe in there.

Finally anyone left? No? Good now we can go"

Cheers

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